If you suspect a friend of having an eating disorder, my advice would be to confront her directly. I do not mean to call her out in front of everyone she knows, or have an "intervention" type scenario. While that may be effective in some cases, I don't think it would be respectful of your friend. When I say confront directly, I mean go to her, privately and ask her what is going on. Don't analyze the situation behind her back with your other friends, go directly to the source and ask her if she is okay.
Women dealing with eating disorders often use them as a coping mechanism for other things that are going on in their life; eating disorders are almost never about weight. Whether it be a husband, boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, or relative, there could be a hundred different things going on that you don't know about, so never assume that you know why she is doing it.
If you want to help her, it is important that you can show her that she can trust you. This means backing off if she doesn't want to talk about it when you ask. Persistence is the key! Keep asking her, back off when she tells you to, but always go back and try again so that she can see that you are there for her and you want to help.
Kudos to you Tristan!! Your friend is lucky to have someone as supportive as you. It is not an easy task confronting someone you love about an eating disorder. I have discussed with friends before about body image and it is amazing how each of us see ourselves negatively. I thought what you did to help your friend is something I would have done as well. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI think your suggestion is the best plan. Approaching a friend with an eating disorder privately would probably be more beneficial than calling her on it in front of a group of individuals (no matter who they are). People with eating disorders already suffer from self esteem issues, more than likely, and may be traumatized by a huge intervention type approach.
ReplyDeleteI can see how people would have eating disorders and I believe alot of people don't realize how serious it is psychologically. In the past few years, I have struggled with eating right and see how it can be really hard to even eat or to stop eating. I can see how those afflicted with eating disorders can feel so lost and need control somehow.
I have to agree in that confronting the source of the problem directly is the most effective and respectful thing to do. So many times women make the mistake of talking about an issue to everyone except the person they really need to speak to. Eating disorders are such a touchy subject and really tough stuff to actually verbalize as a reality. A friend helping a friend with this kind of issue will come across as a caring person who wants to help, as opposed to attacking and accusing her, if you handle the situation delicately and with respect.
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